Can You Get A Girlfriend Whilst Building Your Business?
Ok let me be the first one to address the issue – I do realize that the headline sounds stupid. Because why couldn’t you, right? Is it impossible to have a great relationship AND build a successful business? Is it some kind of contradiction or what? Well, not really. But my experience says so.
I was 37 when I left my job and started my own business. And I have made all the mistakes I could. I mean seriously, I was a schmuck. For example, we all know that you shouldn’t leave your job until you have some kind of alternative income, right? So what did I do? Exactly – left my job without having ANY secured income. How stupid was that? It definitely cost me a lot of sleepless nights. And, of course, stress.
When I left my job I was single. And because I was in such a super positive state of mind (I saw myself making serious money in a couple of months, because I was so naive…. and overly confident. Not a good thing in business) that I thought “yeah, I’ll just create this basic income, say 10k/month and then I will just naturally meet great women and in no time I’ll have a girlfriend”. Needless to say, it was not the case.
Things went sideways. I mean from a business perspective. And it was a painful wake-up call. Never before have I experienced similar levels of stress. Making it and starting making some money was basically all I was thinking about.
Now, they say that an average man thinks about sex say every 10 minutes or so. Well, let me tell you that sometimes I would realize that the idea of having sex hasn’t even crossed my mind for days!
And sure enough, with this kind of mindset, it’s very difficult to attract any quality woman into your life. Stressed, not happy, thinking just about one thing. Survival mode.
Do you think about sex in a survival mode? There is plenty of studies that humans actually incline more towards sex in life/death situations. But I assume this is something different, being in a stressful situation for a long period of time. But I certainly didn’t think about sex in that period of time.. I even thought there was something wrong with me, maybe I was losing my manly power… Nope. I was just too stressed.
Here’s a video from coach Corey Wayne on the subject of love and stress
I know a couple of guys who started their businesses being in a relationship. Some of them lost their significant ones on the go. And because they loved them, they did their best to get them back. Some of them successfully, some not so much… And you could be wondering why but I’m not going into that, there is plenty of stuff on this very subject on the internet, visit for example Getexbackforgood website. I also know some guys who started their businesses single. All of them went through hardships, it’s probably inevitable. But, without any exception, those who started single are ….. still single. And I know why. All the stress is sometimes just too much to be able to really start a meaningful relationship. Don’t get me wrong – those guys, myself included, have made a couple of attempts. We all have Tinder, we go on dates… But when it comes to really commit, to be there for the other person… We just don’t seem to be able or willing to really set aside the time and energy. Selfish? Probably. But can you not be selfish when trying to survive?